We all have heard about wedding or anniversary celebrations. How about divorce parties? Well, gatherings held to celebrate breaks-ups seem to be the current trend in some Arab communities witnessing large turnouts. In the Sultanate, however, while the divorce rates have risen in the past few years, according to statistics from the Ministry of Justice, there is “no mood for celebration rituals” as yet. “Divorce is called ‘the most hateful halal’ in Quran, so why celebrate such a thing? It causes family dispersion and has bad psychological impact on children. It is not right to party separation and pain,” says Sara al Mashani, a housewife.
Like any other parties that require preparations, divorce is celebrated usually by women in fancy halls with cakes, songs and gifts.
It is interesting to see the cakes topped with phrases like, ‘take the garbage out’ or ‘divorce is heaven’.
Such celebrations have drawn flak from many who consider it “inappropriate” in our society and “clashes with Islamic values”.
“Divorce parties reflect sadness and depression of those divorced. She wants to show others she can still move on without the husband and life is cheerful. Those to celebrate such occasions are expelling their grief and frustration by holding loud parties. Yet, one cannot avoid a negative impact of such parties on children, if any,” said a psychologist at the Happy Family Centre.
Initially, the divorce parties were limited to high society in the Arab countries which loves partying. Celebrities were impressed, with several actresses holding such gatherings after a divorce.
“Although I haven’t heard about divorce parties in Oman, I know many Arab and Gulf celebrities have them. Like Madhiha Yusri, Maisam Nahas, Hana Sheha and Jumana Murad. They held big parties and invited big names,” said Nadia al Khoduri, a social activist.
In Oman, couples go for a divorce only if they feel their differences can never be resolved. Yet, when a divorce takes place and the fault is on the part of the husband, some families in the Governorate of Dhofar welcome their divorced daughters back.
They slaughter a cow or sheep and distribute meat among relatives and friends. “It is like redeeming prestige and showing respect to the daughter. It is a way of saying your family is here to support you,” said Sara.
Undeniably, divorce is the last solution for couples unwilling to live together. “By celebrating divorce, women believe they are sending out a strong message to their former spouses they are still going strong,” said the psychologist.
Zainab al nassri
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