The old maxim goes, “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” We all make mistakes, me as many as anyone, but if I feel there is one lesson I’ve learned in life it’s that mistakes, errors of judgment, and failings are, in themselves, largely inconsequential.
Inconvenient they will probably be, yet we stand to potentially learn so much from our mistakes if we accept another maxim that, “To err is human, however then, to not learn from that error, is unacceptable.”
If we think back to when we were kids, playing in the backyard, we can all recall times when we have said or done something, and then defiantly rejected having said or done that thing.
I recall Mum once making her famous Chocolate Chip cookies, for the Home and School Meeting the next evening. As she put them in the jar in the cupboard, she told us three boys, “Don’t touch these, I need them for the meeting, and I won’t have time to cook tomorrow. There are other biscuits if you want to nibble.”
The next evening, Mum took the cookie jar down from the shelf, frowned and looked inside. She was so angry. She said to Dad, “I have to go to the meeting, but I want to know who ate the cookies by the time I get home.”
Dad lined us up as Mum left the house, and in his stern voice asked, “Okay, who ate Mum’s cookies.” We three boys all looked at each other and almost at the same time, said, “Not me!” Dad stood up and took his strap from its place and asked one more time. Again we gave the same answer.
Now, I knew it must be Barry or Neville, because I hadn’t eaten them, but because I didn’t know which one, I couldn’t say anything. Dad reached for me, bent me over and firmly strapped my backside. To this day, I remember the pain and hurt as I smarted, tears coming close to my eyes but still I never said anything.
Barry was next. He waited too I think, for someone to say something, but nothing. So, as Dad’s next question also went unanswered, he got more of the same as me. But because he was a year younger than me, it must have hurt more, because though he never cried out, he definitely shed tears.
Once more, Dad asked the question, and Neville, the youngest, said, “I did Dad, I ate the cookies.” Dad looked back at Barry and me in apology, he didn’t need to say anything. We could see the regret on his face for strapping us, the two innocents.
By now, us two older boys were feeling no pain from our strappings, but were sending all kinds of ‘death wishes’ in Neville’s direction.
Neville got three of the best from Dad, that had him jumping around for a while, but Dad said, “You two lay a hand on him, and you’ll get the same. He was wrong to eat the cookies, but that won’t be the worst thing any of you will do. What is worse, he let you two get the strap before he said anything. Now I can’t take that back, but if all of you learn from this, you’ll all be much better off in life.”
My point is simply that. We are all going to make mistakes. Admitting to making a mistake, or doing the wrong thing, is never the worst thing that can happen. Of course I was no saint, and neither was Barry. We may not have laid a hand on Neville, but we pulled the blankets off him, every night for a week, and it was pretty darned cold at that time.
Ray Petersen
petersen_ray@hotmail.com
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