Charlie Puth, laments, “We don’t talk anymore, like we used to do.”
According to Forbes magazine (the famous rich list one), “Millennials are texting more and talking less,” and that in this new era of communication, the etiquette of communication has even altered dramatically, creating generational tension as the older generation have difficulty understanding why, for example, their young will not pick up the phone to talk to them, being happier to email or text, methods.
The senior generation may use these, out of necessity, but do not embrace them with the same enthusiasm being especially wary of the ‘auto-correct,’ scenario which can cause them confusion and distress, unlike their younger counterparts who tend to see the funny side, or hilarity, of such miscommunication. The condensation of text messages as emails has become common too, and the lack of tone and tenor can cause confusion, but can be a refuge for the weak.
One young Wall Street Journal staffer explained that he considered it at least presumptuous, probably rude, and certainly intrusive, to call someone without asking their consent via email or text first. He said, “Without e-mailing first can make it seem as though you’re prioritising your needs over theirs.” Really, are we so sensitive and sheltered that we cannot respond to the immediacy of the phone? Is it obsolete already?
The young appear to simply, and maybe lazily default to whichever communication method will help them complete their to-do list as efficiently as possible, with as little interaction as possible. This, of course is great for someone with a weak argument, as they can’t be brought to task more severely than with capital letters or an angry face emoji.
The Washington Post writes that a teen may never listen to a voicemail, may not respond to it, or may take days to return a call, leaving their parents to assume their offspring is intentionally ignoring them, because if the boot was on the other foot, concerned parents would respond immediately. One young woman asked her mom to text instead of call, her Mum said, “What? You don’t like to hear from me? You don’t like the sound of my voice?” It may just be a generational thing.
Me, I must admit somewhat bashfully, that I don’t talk anywhere near as much as I did, and almost certainly not enough to my wife and daughter. Shamefully, I think I understand why, and it’s all to do with work, and my workload.
My wife is at home through the day, where she does the housework, most of the home maintenance, and her artistic enthusiasm of photography, but most of her day is without any interaction. On my part, I am a committed educator, like most of my colleagues, and I interact daily on so many levels, and with so many diverse personalities, on a face-to-face basis.
With a significant educational, administrative, academic, and pastoral workload, I talk a lot, listen a lot, email and write a lot, but mostly it’s speaking or listening, and I can’t be blasé, careless or inattentive about any of it. I must stay focused, aware and concentrated, as the consequences of not being so ‘tuned’ to my work are likely to be much greater for the faculty I support, or the students for whom I am responsible.
As a result, by the time I get home, I’m talked and listened out. I just want to chill out, would you believe it, at the same time my wife wants to talk about her day, and mine. I crave reflection, she craves companionship.
The two appear remarkably incompatible don’t they? And consequently, I certainly owe my wife an apology, for being less than what she needs at such times, and I’m surely not alone.
Ray Petersen
petersen_ray@hotmail.com
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