As someone who loves his work, enjoys life, and sees the good in people ahead of the not-so-good, I sometimes surprise myself at how frustrated I can be with the apologist nature of our societies, everywhere. Societies don’t have to apologise for being racist, individuals do. Societies don’t have to apologise for being aggressive, individuals do, and societies don’t have to apologise for being rude, impatient, lazy, irresponsible, indifferent, or any other negative form of behaviour, individuals do.
Prioritising individual responsibility means that the family must take greater responsibility for their ‘product,’ their progeny, their young men and women, and make them more aware of what lies ahead, to nurture them, but not to insulate them from the challenges ahead. Whatever is to occur in any society must start within the family.
I was pleased, therefore, to note that His Majesty Sultan Haitham bin Tarik this week indicated his determination to “Listen to youth, and share their opinions and aspirations.” This is a step in the right direction, as I feel young Omanis, while certainly not neglected, have felt marginalised.
These are young people in the 18-25 year-old group, the student generation, who are learning to function in a global environment, that requires them to be more questioning than listening, more learning what they need to know, than what someone else says they need to know, and with questions that they must not be afraid to ask, and earlier generations must be prepared to answer with accuracy and integrity.
These young people may be ‘fobbed off,’ with platitudes or facile responses, but when they learn they have not been given a considered response, will be entitled to disappointment, frustration, and probably anger. Imagine yourself, asking someone for directions: They tell you, “go this way, then that, then that and you are there.” You do, and find that what you sought is not there, and you are disappointed. Then you find that it never was there, but is in a totally different place. How would you feel?
I share daily, these young people’s opinions, aspirations, dreams and hopes, their “I want to be’s… ” and it’s frustrating for me that so many do, “want to be,” rather than having an ambition to be something. “I want to be a businessman,” or “I want to be a manager,” and the question I always ask in response is, “… and how will you make that happen?” Cue confusion and significantly, offence. “Why teacher, you think I can’t be a businessman?” “I didn’t say that did I? So tell me, which business are you looking at?” Cue more confusion, and “I don’t know. Any business.”
When this happens, and it happens way too often, it’s clear to me that parents have not engaged in sufficient ‘quality,’ time with their growing up kids talking about the fact that they will first have to work under direction, under supervision, and probably not have a great time of it, as human nature tends to dominate even cultural niceties in a subservient environment.
Being a ‘worker,’ or an ‘employee,’ is sometimes not a lot of fun until you learn your way around, yet it is an opportunity, and how you react to those early experiences that will define much of what you do later in life.
I won’t tell you what it’s like, as you need to ‘learn’ it for yourself, but Mum and Dad, by all and every means, nurture your kids, but don’t deny them an awareness of what lies ahead, be honest and open, and make them ready for the wider world. Dreams, hopes, aspirations and ambitions are necessary, and sustain and drive us all, but the opportunity to demonstrate knowledge, wisdom and reliability through work, is what makes those, realities.
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