A few weeks ago, I noticed a friend was over-posting on social media. The posts were about his recent and sometimes old achievements.
Some days he will post about ordinary everyday activities like attending a meeting or sitting at his desk and include details on descriptions of his impressive management style.
His posts attracted my attention, especially since it’s unlike him to post in such a way. So, I invited him for a coffee and asked, “Are you OK?”
He paused a little and then told me that he had recently retired from his work despite his hard work in establishing the company where he worked.
The worst part, he said, was he was getting good feedback from top management which motivated him to give more. The dismissal came as a shock to him and left him wondering what he did wrong. When he asked, he was told that he had reached retirement age, and the company needed ‘new blood’.
He described feeling angry, confused and humiliated. In the first few weeks, he lost sleep and ended up driving aimlessly at night for a long distance to calm himself. He could not tell his family about the termination as he was worried about their reactions. It became clear to me that he felt the need to highlight his previous achievements to reassure himself about his worth.
The story of my friend reflects a common response to professional setbacks or perceived failures. In the modern world we live in we often find our personal and professional identities intertwined with our digital presence so it’s not surprising that social media becomes a coping mechanism.
When people feel undervalued or overlooked, posting about previous accomplishments can serve as a reminder — to themselves and others — of their competence and value.
This phenomenon is called self-affirmation and it can be a way to regain a sense of control and self-worth.
However, while these posts may provide temporary reassurance, they sometimes mask deeper feelings of insecurity, frustration, or even shame.
What my friend was experiencing was a need for validation and acknowledgment after what felt like an unjust and confusing dismissal.
From a psychological perspective, the lack of recognition at work and sudden professional changes can harm one’s well-being.
Being removed from a role can lead to feelings of betrayal and self-doubt. When hard work goes unnoticed or seems to be discarded, the emotional toll can be significant.
This raises important questions: Are organisations doing enough to support employees when roles or responsibilities shift? Is constructive feedback, transparency and empathy consistently practiced in professional settings?
And as individuals, how do we respond to professional setbacks in healthy, constructive ways?
While posting achievements online can serve as a short-term confidence boost, it can also signal a deeper need for support. Conversations, like the one I had with my friend, can provide a safe space to unpack these feelings without being judged.
A simple question, “Are you OK?” can open the door to understanding, validation and perhaps a path to healing.
One should remember that acknowledging someone’s contributions, understanding their struggles and offering support when needed can make all the difference, so don’t shy out from asking “Are you OK?"
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