Basic steps to speak to anyone easily - Part 2

The first part of my article on the basic steps to speak to anyone was published last week. We have established the importance of having the "speaking skill" and agreed on the benefits that one can attain (at a personal and professional level) for knowing and utilizing the same. Briefly, the article illustrated the groundwork that one needs to do and work on before commencing on the journey of speaking to any stranger (or a new person per se). This week, my focus is to list down the steps, something I personally did and continue to do, with my networking engagements.

First and foremost, as mentioned in last week’s article, be prepared. Know where you are going, who you are meeting, get the theme/agenda of the event beforehand, and then set your objectives and goals. This is an important basic step that many don’t do and, as a result, end up in a non-comfortable situation.

Next, once you’re in the event, and as I mentioned in my last article, scan the space/venue to see the people around, and then target the ones you see looking around (like what you are doing) and approach them with a positive smile and ensure you have direct eye contact with them as you shake hands (depending on the same gender and ensuring you follow cultural/religious norms). This step shows you being an open, jolly, and positive person that would obviously make others feel comfortable.

Now I know that some people say you need to start a conversation with open-ended questions. Don’t, because the goal really is to make the other person feel comfortable at first. Hence, start with close-ended questions. Ensure you ask them something that they don’t have to think a lot about before answering.

Try and ensure these close-ended questions make the other person feel you are interested in them. Once a person knows you are interested in them, they become comfortable. And depending on how the person is answering your close-ended questions, you will get an idea of whether the person is interested in talking to you. You can go ahead with the open-ended question to carry on the conversation once you establish that the other person is comfortable with you.

When the conversation happens, you need to be listening actively. I had written a complete article in the past on the importance of listening. It’s a crucial skill in any field, and allows you to truly understand the needs, concerns, and aspirations of the people you’re communicating with. Last week, Donald Trump won significantly the support of the votes for winning the presidential election by focusing on topics people felt strongly about, like jobs, immigration, and national security.

He listened to voter concerns about issues they felt were overlooked and positioned his platform around those topics. In my opinion, he was an active listener, while the other contestant wasn’t, and hence the glory back to the White House. Obviously, try and look for common interests while discussing and be mindful of your body language (as it sends a non-verbal message) of your feel and state. For example, be focused on the person and avoid looking away (or on your smart phone), as this can appear you’re disengaged.

Lastly, before you end the conversation, ensure that you show the person that you enjoyed talking with them, exchange contact information, and move on to the next person to start the journey once again.

To conclude, I would like to emphasize that being able to speak to and having the confidence to do so opens up a world of opportunities. By following the steps mentioned in this article, you will not only be more confident yet also gain valuable returns from insights to potential collaborations that may not be possible otherwise. If you want to stand out in the crowd, all you need to do is be positive. Now that you have the basics, keep practicing to be more comfortable and remain a winner in any gathering ontext. Until we catch up again next week, stay positive.