Phones are tools that help us connect to family and friends, learn, and see delightful things about the world. But if we do not keep a balance in their use, they can turn out to be problematic on occasions.
Look at the mindless and excessive use of phones; they very often play spoilsport in the cherished relationship between parents and children. It’s not just children alone struggling with too much screen time; their parents are also attached to their devices.
Many parents use the common phrase “just a minute” instead of putting the phone down for a few seconds and answering the queries of their children. The effects of such phrases are that children feel left out and not enough to be loved. It makes them sad, angry, and even lonely.
While many parents set rules to limit their kids’ electronics time, sadly they do not follow any of them! They often set rules they don’t always intend to follow. Keeping phones out of the bedroom is a common rule among parents, yet this rule doesn’t often apply to the parents!
When children see their parents using smartphones, they need not necessarily know that they are sending some official messages, doing some banking work, ordering the groceries, or finishing off the daily work. What they see is that their mom or dad is busy on the phone and not with them!
True, from children to older people, all need a phone. We cannot think of spending a moment without them, whether it is for scrolling through social media feeds, checking mail or messages, watching movies, playing games, etc. Unfortunately, some family members spend too much time on their phones without setting any boundaries or common sense.
According to a study, parents across the US spend nearly five hours a day on electronic devices. Those same parents spend less than four hours a day actively engaged with their kids!
“Parents who stare at their screens instead of talking to their kids aren’t just modelling poor behaviour — they could be hindering their children’s development,” CNN reported recently, quoting new research.
A friend of mine recently told me that when he returned home from work, he found his whole family using their respective mobile phones while sitting on a bed together.
It has been common in many houses that parents give mobile phones to children so they do not irritate them when they are otherwise engaged. They do so to distract them while they eat as well, to avoid any fussy behaviour.
It is not long ago that two siblings filed a case against their parents in Indian court alleging “mental harassment” due to restrictions on their screen time. The case highlighted a broader debate about the role of screen time in children’s lives and the extent to which parents can control it.
Their parents were quoted by newspapers as arguing in the court that "every house is troubled by the children's addiction to mobile” and "scolding children is a normal thing. This happens in every house."
Though work and home-life duties make it difficult for parents to switch off and limit their own phone use, at least they can do it during family time, and time with children on their own is the key for happy parenting, happy children, positive relationships and strong connections.
Parents, please remember your children need attention to feel secure and confident. After all, they learn and develop their behaviour by watching you, and this includes screen use!
Be aware of the importance of being in the moment. The people you ignore while on your phone will someday be gone. While you are immersed in calls and not answering the dear ones, do not forget that you are missing the life that is taking place in front of you.
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