Ahmed was in his late twenties when his first son was born. He was both anxious and excited about being a father. Unfortunately, the boy was diagnosed with brain cancer and died within months after spending most of his short life in hospital beds.
Ahmed felt devastated after the death of his son falling into severe depression especially after being dismissed from his job for taking many days off to be with his son in hospital. He felt his ‘world fell apart’ after losing his identity as a father and a working person.
Our identities are made of memories, experiences, relationships, and values.
These components create our sense of self. An identity crisis can be defined as a period of uncertainty or confusion in a person’s life that occurs when we feel insecure and unstable.
This can happen when we are faced with life events that change our lives such as losing our health, the death of a loved one, or any change in our social environment.
We experience various identity crises during our lives that impact our well-being. If you have lost your only child, or you retired from your job or you had to flee your country because of wars or economic hardships, you may feel that you’ve lost your identity as a parent, a working person, or a citizen.
You may start asking yourself, who am I now? But the reality is that you’re still an amazing person regardless of any title. You earned that identity, and no one can take that away.
The second identity crisis is the one in which the identity you long for is denied to you. You might desperately want to be a doctor or teacher, but you never got the right grades for a medical or teaching college.
In this case, you might need to ask yourself, am I over-attached to how I’m going to achieve this identity? Remember there are many ways to live a fulfilling life. You need to be flexible about how you’re going to excel in new fields and reach your potential.
A third identity crisis occurs when you cling to an identity you thought you wanted, but which no longer serves you. You might have built your life around being a university professor, but when you get the title, you feel empty and start asking yourself, was it worth all the struggle and the time I spend away from my family?
At this stage, you would need to reassess your priorities in life. If you’re truthful with yourself about your real identity, you might find you want something else, like a more creative job, or a flexible role that lets you spend time with family.
Sometimes, a crisis occurs because of your own actions.
You may have made the wrong business plans that led you to bankruptcy or chosen to remain in a destructive relationship because of your fear of loneliness. In such situations it is normal to experience guilt and shame but don’t let these negative emotions take over. Reflect on the decision you made and be prepared to start with new perspectives.
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