July 30 is World Friend’s Day, a time designated to mark a special form of relationships that we tend to make with people that we consider family even when there are no blood ties between us.
The book ‘Modern Friendship: How to Make and Keep Friends in the Age of Loneliness’ by Anna Goldfarb explores the dynamics of friendships in the current world we live in with its digital connections and ever-changing social norms.
Dr Goldfarb explores the challenges and rewards we get from forming and maintaining friendships as we age and our life circumstances change.
As children, we may have find it easy to make new friends, but in adulthood, some people face difficulties in forming new friendships or maintaining old ones.
We might move to new cities, develop new hobbies and interests that differ from our old friends, or experience changes in our values and beliefs, prompting us to seek new friendships.
The author discusses how modern technology changes our friendships, highlighting the benefits and drawbacks of social media and digital communication.
She provides practical advice on using these tools to strengthen connections without allowing them to replace deeper, more meaningful interactions.
This book made me think about how social media influenced modern friendships.
We now talk about a ‘virtual friend’, someone we interact with online, sharing our thoughts and ideas and the different events in our lives without meeting him or her in person.
Such friendships can become strong, with mutual respect, where both parties offer support and advice to each other.
It can also provide an opportunity for those who are shy or socially anxious to connect with others easily, as not facing the other person reduces the fear of speaking to them and boosts self-confidence.
While many people form supportive and enjoyable virtual friendships, others may exploit one’s kindness, naivety, and need for genuine human connections through deceitful tactics.
Such individuals may intensify communication, sharing details from their lives, from their morning coffee to their graduation photos, creating a sense of shared experiences while ‘grooming their victim.’
This attention, which might be lacking from family members, can cause the individual to become attached to the electronic friend, seeing them as a saviour who listens and cares about their feelings. Evenly the care and attention fade away, then become intense for a while only to fade away again.
This behaviour aims to confuse the other party or exploit them financially, or simply to feel power and control over others, satisfying the individual's ego and narcissism.
Contrary to the common belief that teenagers are the usual victims of such situations, all age groups are at risk, as everyone needs to feel cared for and loved.
In my opinion, to avoid being exploited by virtual friends consider building trust gradually, and do not be swayed by temporary feelings that the other party may provoke for their reasons, as this could have serious consequences for you.
If you are looking for a guide in maintaining fulfilling friendships in today’s fast-paced and often isolating world then ‘Modern Friendship’ is worth reading.
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