It is a fact that successful educational leaders are those who do not ignore their emotions. Obviously, we need to manage and control our emotions better— and by better, I mean by not managing and controlling, but by utilising and exercising them.
‘I need to control my emotions’ is oft-spoken self-talk that we may hear ourselves saying as we reflect on our actions. Or occasionally we may have someone suggest that we need to manage our emotions better. But do we? Is the assumption that emotions and leadership are the oil and water of the workplace actually true?
We have spent generations being told that our emotions are those things that should be encircled and subdued. It has fomented the ideas that we should ‘leave our personality at the door’ and ‘keep business and personal separate.’ Recent researchers found that academic leaders who coped and adjusted to the pandemic the best where those who were able to utilise, and not ignore their emotions. Before the pandemic, strong leaders were often expected to focus their leadership on process, accountability and strategic planning that presented a very controlled picture of leadership.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the pandemic changed this mindset. We saw leaders who were vulnerable, who were open to listening and acknowledged they might not have all the answers. These were leaders who whole-heartedly embraced the ambiguity and looked to thrive in the uncertain messiness. This shift can be difficult for some as it requires them to reflect on not only what they must do, but more deeply, who they must be as leaders.
When we hear the word emotion in the workplace, it has often been sidled up with other words that on their own sound harmless but in fact spread an underlying frame of mind and intention.
Obviously, the factors such as control, manage, and harness imply that emotions and expression, work in opposition to our ability to lead and make decisions. They hint that emotions are the antithesis of a good leader. They are negative. They will lead to distraction. And because of that, they will make us appear weak. Strong leaders are those who can maintain the separation and not be affected or show emotion.
The use of these words makes emotions appear like a deficit. By integrating vulnerability into our leadership approach, we can build stronger relationships, invite collaboration and open a pathway for more difficult but important conversations, which will improve the wellness and performance of the company and everyone within.
It increases the potential of empowerment and as such increases the likelihood of shared responsibility and collective leadership. Building emotional connections will take the pressure off the individual leader and share it across their teams. Emotions are a key tool for forming alliances, building trust, conveying importance, demonstrating empathy, growing inclusion, and can be viewed as the hidden power of effective leadership.
Education is a relationship-driven sector and to ignore the tools and skills that enhance, build, and grow relationships would professionally be a backwards step. It requires a new understanding and a new mindset of effective leadership. It requires us to look at our emotions from a new perspective. Not as things to control, but as tools to utilise. The captain of the ship has sailed and it is time for us to lead in a new way.
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