Baby Reindeer — a British series inspired by real events experienced by the writer and main actor — tells the story of Danny, a young Scotsman living in London who aspires to be a comedian but lacks talent so he is forced to work in a bar where he meets Martha, a middle-aged overweight woman to whom he offers a free cup of tea. She becomes attracted to him, visiting him at the bar daily, and talking to him about her work as a lawyer.
Events become intertwined as she pursues him, desiring marriage even though he doesn't reciprocate her feelings. However, she continues to pursue him, sending over forty-one thousand emails, commenting on his Facebook photos, attending his comedy shows and seeking his sympathy by waiting outside his apartment in the cold and rain for hours just to see him.
When he finally takes pity on her and takes her to her flat, he discovers how lonely she is. Over time, their relationship oscillates between friendship, animosity and attraction, then turns into hostility once again.
The series presents a deep portrayal of the relationship between the stalker and the victim, illustrating how some victims develop unhealthy relationships with their stalker despite the psychological and sometimes physical harm they endure. In this series, there's no clear distinction between good and evil so the viewers may find themselves sympathising with both parties and wondering why people behave in such ways.
Psychology defines stalking as an unwanted pattern of behaviour that includes pursuit, tracking and surveillance, causing distress, anxiety or fear for the victim's safety. Stalking behaviour persists despite requests from the victim to stop and may escalate to sexual assault or murder.
Social media has arguably exacerbated stalking and online harassment, adding further difficulties for victims. A research study from the United States in 2020 on men tracking women online revealed that some participants tended to downplay the risks of stalking or consider it romantic or a form of innocent flattery.
Psychology tells us that the loneliness experienced by many people in our modern societies and the drastic changes that have occurred to social relationships have created a group of individuals who lack feelings of love, affection and care. They become victims of attachment and addiction to communication with strangers and may end up remaining in toxic or unhealthy relationships for fear of abandonment.
We can't solely blame social media, as there are many psychological factors at play, such as early childhood experiences, poor personal relationships and lack of self-confidence, which create an environment fertile for stalking and harassment.
Perhaps Baby Reindeer is a bold representation of this complex phenomenon yet what makes it more interesting is that we are told it was a real story, not just based on a real story. The author and protagonist may have used the show as a form of catharsis, giving him a way of healing from a very traumatic life event, as for the media reaction to the real Marthas and how Piers Morgan exploited the story, that’s for another column.
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