When it rains we want sunshine. When it’s hot, we want rain. We are so fickle aren’t we? Even though we know it’s the weather, and we are never going to change it. Are we just naturally moaners? Is it something we have had to work on? Or do we just moan because we can’t stand being happy?
Many of us complain about social media, some of the rubbish that’s on it. But we rarely turn it off! What’s that about? I love what Irishman Kevin Barry wrote about getting up in the morning and having a ‘good old moan.’ “I get up, groan, write a bit, moan, eat breakfast, write some more, cycle through the hills, make up some songs as I pedal along, sing them, have lunch, have a nap, moan, groan, write a bit more, cook dinner, feed wifey, open a bottle or several, slump, sleep and snore,” having had a wonderful day.
Some of us are proper challenges aren’t we, as even our faiths don’t prevent us from dissatisfaction, and it takes very little to start us off. Some of us moan about everything, but ironically, will not hear a single complaint about ourselves. I think some people enjoy complaining about everything, almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it. They prefer to whine and complain, than to do something about it. So they must get something out of it.
Robin Kowalski, Professor of Psychology at Clemson University says, “It’s just something we do, like breathing, only not quite so often.” “In short,” he said, “Yes, it’s good to complain, yes, it’s bad to complain, and yes, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.”
The trick, apparently, is in doing it right, which starts with understanding how ‘complaining’ is often misused to describe a variety of behaviours, with some of those being more harmful, or helpful than others. Achieving sufficient diversity requires a clear understanding of the exigencies of vocabulary that vacillates between venting, problem solving and ruminating. Knowing which behaviour you are engaged in, with what purpose, can help improve your emotional health and build stronger relationships with the people around you, according to the man in the white coat.
Claudia Schiffer says, “All of my friends are about my age, and we are all ageing at the same time. We talk about it and moan, but it (ageing) doesn’t worry me.” Oh really? Claudia Schiffer... what’s she got to moan about? She’s got an hourglass figure, a wonderful smile, at 52 she looks 32, she’s a supermodel, and Forbes estimates her wealth at around $55 million dollars.
I do like the Terry Pratchett quote: “Tragic heroes moan when the Gods take an interest in them, yet it’s those who the Gods ignore that I feel sorry for.” However then again, I like Pratchett’s writing, as one with limitless imagination and humour. If we were looking for reasons not to moan, complain, or get too serious about ourselves, then his Discworld series is a tongue-in-cheek look at us, and our lives from a different, only similar perspective. His characters have a delightful attitude to moaning and complaining, seeing them as a keen portrayal of character.
My many years have given me just enough wisdom to understand that I don’t have enough patience to hold a grudge, I don’t have sufficient memory to stay mad at someone. Neither do I have enough words left in me to complain about things that I can never change.
Whatever are right and wrong I will debate, but not extensively. I will ponder what is fair, and what is not, what others have and I don’t, but at the end of the day... I’m seriously happy I get to wake up in the mornings... really.
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