Do we need virtual friends?

As if modern life - and relationships- are not complicated enough, we get introduced to virtual relationships where you chat with someone through social media messaging applications without having to meet them face to face.

If you think such relationships are mainly popular amongst the younger generation, think again, the fact is anyone with a mobile phone can and would probably have virtual friends at one time. Virtual friendships are not necessarily bad. It is a form of connecting with another human being or sometimes an artificial intelligence app.

What can be bad is how much time is invested in such relationships and how they affect your life and other conventional friendships. For some people, having a virtual friend is a form of escapism from reality to a place where they can be someone else and adopt a new identity or even a new name so someone who feels shy and intimidated when meeting people face to face would feel more comfortable chatting through text messaging.

Other people would adopt a new persona with almost identical traits to get the attention from others. However, many of such relationships can be genuine and people exchange positive feelings through them such as caring, empathy and being kind and supportive to one another.

I personally have a few virtual friends that I chat with from time to time and we learned to respect each other and be supportive. After all, we all need somebody to lean on and feel connected to. Just like face to face friendships, virtual friendships need nourishment and consistency. You can not connect to people only when you are having a bad day and wanting someone to rant to so they can lift your mood. Throughout the years I had my share of disappointment with some virtual friendships when the other party — knowing that I am a psychiatrist —wanted free consultation where I am expected to listen all the time and be available yet I don’t get the same privilege.

On the other hand there are more productive virtual friendships where the relationships are mutual and the other person would ask how my day was and we would have more positive discussions. Having said all of that, one would need to be mindful that connecting with people through texting has its own downsides especially when the other person has bad intentions.

So what would be the warning signs that your virtual friendship is not healthy? In general, avoid sharing personal information with people you don’t know well and remember that some people may be manipulative and would play mind games to keep you hooked to them— they would disappear for a few days, then appear with a fake apology to gain your attention only to disappear again.

Some would express jealousy when you post photos with friends or colleagues and try to isolate you, others would exaggerate their feelings towards you before they get to know you well. Some people may use you to fill their free time so they would drag you into endless discussions only to fill a void in their lives.

If you are not careful, this may distract you from focusing on your work and your family. In conclusion, virtual friends can be a source of happiness or disappointment, so choose your friends well.