Talk to grandparents

You may think you already know your family stories well. Between childhood memories, reunions and holiday gatherings, you may have spent hours with your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles absorbing family traditions. But do you really know as much as you think?!

In fact, I have always been fascinated by the stories told by our grandparents and those tales that are passed down from generation to generation. But what made me bring up such a topic, I was really surprised when I found out that many other people know very little about the life of their parents and grandparents, despite the fact that they lived in some interesting decades.

Even friends, some of whom specialised in history and excelled in it, were ignorant about the history of their families. It is true that perhaps our elders share some familiar anecdotes again and again, but still many of us do not have a broader sense of the world in which they lived, especially what it was before we came. The people I met know very little about the early life of their grandparents or parents. Few can remember any personal stories about the time when their grandparents or parents were children!

The beautiful thing is that we ourselves and our children must be aware that when talking to our ancestors, for example, we come to know completely new worlds. Indeed, you may hear some things that you expected at times, but you will be convinced of the value of preserving these family histories.

So when you ask a relative about the house they once grew up in, ask them what their windows looked out on? What did they hear when they got up in the morning? When you ask for a description of an old man’s childhood home and the neighbourhoods they toured, you’ll hear stories that put you in a rich sensory world that you don’t know much about. So ask about family dinners and your relatives who have taught you about expressing feelings. Ask about their worst first dates and where they buy their clothes. And remember, the most important questions can be the simplest!

Hence, after hearing such moments, you will notice how our children will see their grandparents in new ways. But even hearing about ordinary life can be very interesting, because what was normal for your grandparents may not be normal for you!

Therefore, try to find an opportunity to talk to your grandparents and parents closely. You will certainly be surprised to hear the oral history of times gone by.

In the end, just as the precious oral and historical literatures of entire societies around the world are lost through migration, death of languages and failure to ask questions. There is a danger that the personal stories of your family may also be lost forever. Our parents and grandparents have unique snapshots and memories of the world and in getting to know them, you can not only preserve the past but also create real meaning and lasting connection with it. Finally, remember in families and communities, there are secrets to be discovered!

The author is a physician, medical innovator and a writer.