We all have opinions that we keep to ourselves. We go through our day-to-day lives unbothered that such opinion is not spoken of. But what prevents people from sharing their thoughts? Perhaps we are partly afraid of offending others.
In this day and age, society has evolved to a point where we grow more concerned about how we make others feel. As a result, you find people appear significantly more silent when they think that their opinions represent the opinion of a minority.
There are plenty of good and logical reasons not to say what you think, especially when others disagree. Somehow also insulting people is not pleasant and can lead to professional or social consequences. Nodding something along the way may seem like a good thing, even though you’re screaming on the inside. But perhaps the real act of goodness is being brave and saying what you really think. So your honesty can be an endearing act and sticking to real honesty sometimes makes you happier in the end.
On the other hand, when the truth is hard to accept, telling it can have costs, including social rejection and strained relationships. Thus total honesty, is also far from (white lies) because it can reduce stress, deepen bonds with others and reduce emotional interaction. Yet some people lie all the time, perhaps psychologically and specifically want more love and happiness. But also to persuade others, to win sympathy and to avoid conflict at other times.
It is true that some white lies – as some people claim or as we humans have created them – make life easier, but they do not necessarily make life happier. When caught, lying generally makes you less likeable, which harms relationships and thus reduces happiness. I think even a few white lies can do that.
Therefore, I see that if you really want to commit to honesty, you must commit to being honest with yourself and make an effort to seek and accept complete honesty from others, whether they are loved ones or strangers. Ask people to tell the truth as they see it, starting with those closest to you and commit not to be offended when they present it. Moreover, sometimes what you hear is meant to offend you, but you can always choose not to offend!
In the end, I believe that if you keep the truth to yourself when it is appropriate and use it to hurt others when you feel hurt, as we often observe in emotional arguments with loved ones and others, your honesty is certainly not an expression of love. Rather, it is more useful here to look for the virtues rather than the faults in others!
Dr. Yousuf Ali Al Mulla is a a physician, medical innovator and a writer.
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