E M Forster, the noted writer once said, “I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would no more war”. In our present world, perhaps that is a much needed reminder.
As Omani Mother’s Day approaches, there are the advertisements which clutter our social media – suggestions for gifts of flowers, chocolates, jewellery and the occasional spa dates. Like everything else, Mother’s Day has also become a commodity, to be promoted for its commercial value. But surely the day was meant to celebrate a person in our lives who is often not acknowledged enough?
The job of a mother, is of course, full time. But it is actually more than that, as a mother lives as many lives as the number of children she has. How does one return such selfless service and love?
If you are looking for that perfect gift, it’s possibly not far away – it is simply a bit of ourselves, the gift of time.
Survey after survey shows that mothers spend more than 75 per cent of their time caring for their children, all the time engaged in other activities, inside and outside the home. According to Forbes UK, this is the ‘temporal cost’ of being a mother who is available 24x7 to children of whatever age.
And yet, as we grow into our own lives, that commitment and love is forgotten – sometimes gradually, often forever. They become part of the background that we take for granted – an occasional phone call, a visit with family, perhaps even a short holiday.
Most empty nesters suggest that what they value most is the visit of children back from university, from jobs overseas or even weekend visits. It bonds the family, with memories of gathering around the kitchen, reminiscing over food – almost always made by mothers much in advance, in anticipation of the get-togethers.
In a survey conducted before the pandemic in USA, 55 per cent of respondents said that they would send a gift to their mothers while 37 per cent said they would send a card or make a phone call, even when they are in the same city.
When asked, mothers themselves said that they preferred some time alone, especially those with young children. Many appreciated cards but most would like to have a physical visit, a chat, just meaningful moments with grandkids. This is truer when they, and their children, are growing older and preoccupied with their own lives.
The pandemic showed us, most of all, the value of a hug, a chat and time spent with loved ones. We may not need mother’s day to remind us of those who cared for us, but it is a helpful reminder, a gentle nudge that we sometimes need to shake us from our stupor.
So, this Mother’s Day, gift your mother your time – walking down memory lane, sharing stories and listening to hers, for, as Mitch Albom movingly says, “Behind all your stories is your mother’s story, for hers is where yours begins”.
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