Just a disappointment in disguise

I pondered recently, in some faux Robbie Burns like, or even spurious Shakespearean manner, “Tis but a short step from anticipation to expectation. Yet, tis a leviathan traipse, aye, a gigantic stride, in artifice and chicanery.”

Now... apart from it being an absolute joy to write, more lurks behind that imitation than a bit of fun, as the ICC Men’s T20 World Cup, of which some of the preliminary matches were played in the Sultanate of Oman, continues in the UAE, and the Super 12 Round saw traditional rivals Pakistan and tournament favourites India, clash, with Pakistan humbling their opponents in a 10-wicket thrashing, leading to considerable angst and gnashing of teeth on the sub-continent.

Indian National Congress MP Shashi Tharoor expressed his feelings telling reporters, “Never have I witnessed India being routed more comprehensively,” while police in Uttar Pradesh arrested three for celebrating rival’s win. And on social media, one player in the Indian team, was mercilessly trolled, and accused of deliberately giving up runs.

I can understand the disappointment, but dwelled upon the words of the respected commentator known as India’s ‘voice of cricket,’ Harsha Bogle, that, “Indian supporters are shocked by this result, and that is made worse by their level of anticipation and expectation leading into this game.” “After all, said Mazher Ashad, on Twitter, Pakistan had never beaten India in 7 previous World Cup matches, so most Indian expectations were shaped by that.”

Yes, the anticipation, the looking forward to an event, is a thing of joy, a positive emotion, but expectation has the potential for a rude awakening, something that lifts you, but can also deepen the impact of an adverse results, like having the rug pulled out from under your feet. Even Shakespeare himself wrote of, “expectation being the root of all heartache,” while Dr Steve Maraboli, renowned for his examination of ‘the human experience,’ says, “Expectation feeds frustration, an unhealthy attachment to outcomes we wish we could control, but cannot.”

The Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 rule, which basically says that 20 per cent of your activities will account for 80 per cent of your results. That variation applies to so many things in life, in that, for example, we have legitimate expectations that all politicians are motivated by social responsibility, that all doctors care, that all lawyers are trustworthy, that all accountants are accurate, that all teachers are effective, that all those with driver’s licences are safe drivers, and so the list goes on. The reality, as we know, is otherwise, and it’s a harsh lesson we must learn for ourselves, as, in our naivety, we know better.

So, just a few days later New Zealand faced a chastened India in a ‘must win’ second match in front of 21,000 ebullient, rampant, jubilant, expectant Indian supporters. But by the end of the game the stadium lay half empty as their heroes again, in the words of Harsha Bhogle, “succumbed to the weight of expectation.” Captain Virat Kohli told the media, “Just because there is expectation doesn’t mean we should play differently,” and added later, “When you play for the Indian cricket team you have expectations, not only from the fans, but from the players themselves.” This time, that expectation was simply too much.

And where is this going? Many parents want good things for their children, most want better than they themselves have had, or have, and so, in their enthusiasm, they often place expectations upon those children. Certainly, in some eyes, anything but an ‘A’ is a failure. Don’t let that parent be you... let your children embrace their educational opportunity with anticipation and enthusiasm.

Don’t chastise them for disappointing you, blame yourself for loading them with your expectations. Remember, they have expectations of themselves, let them understand and on their own terms, meet those... first.