Simple methods for effective listening
Published: 01:09 PM,Sep 30,2024 | EDITED : 05:09 PM,Sep 30,2024
I’ve received intriguing and valuable feedback on my last week article on the effectiveness of listening. Listening is an attribute that not only helps individuals in their personal relationships but also in their professional career and entrepreneurial journey as well. I agree with much of the feedback I received that it’s not easy, yet I can confidently assure you that it’s a skill that anyone can develop, provided that he or she puts in the necessary time to learn and practice. I have never been a great listener myself (to be very honest), yet I continue to practice with the learning(s) I have gained over the years, and thus the outstanding results you see of my relationships and the track record built over the years. My article this week is on a few methods I personally use to listen effectively, but first let me share why listening is a challenge to begin with.
Generally, when someone is talking, many people don’t really pay attention (unless you are a student, in an academic institution or setting, and is among the excellent ones). We don’t realize it, but we get distracted with everything else around, e.g., the crowd, the music in the background, the plans and/or thoughts wandering on our mind, where we are going, what we are going to say, etc. Sometimes, we would even go the extra mile and cut off (or stop) the speaker before they even completed what they were wishing to say. Unfortunately, we think we are good listeners, yet the reality is, we are not even close.
With the advent of smart devices (i.e., phones, watches, and tomorrow glasses as well), the challenge and problem have become ever more (or worse, actually). These devices keep breaking and asking for your attention, from instant messaging to various application notifications and/or even calls (be they productive or not). Social media companies (Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, etc.) make billions offering you free apps, tools, and services just to grab your attention (in order to make those billions they are making out of you as a product). One article I read recently reported that smartphone users unlock their devices average 80 times per day. The number may even be higher with those addicted too. Can one now deny that the majority’s listening skills are (and are getting) poor as a result? I believe proof (as a fact) is in the pudding.
When people talk, you normally don’t listen to them. You are in fact just hearing them. Hearing is sound waves that are transmitted over the air and to your ears; it is passive. Imagine walking in a mall and hearing people talk and music in the background. You are hearing and not listening to them. See the difference? Effective listening involves understanding the message within the sound or voice.
So how can one therefore listen effectively? I will tell you what I personally do. First, ensure you keep an open mind by avoiding to assume what they are saying (yet focusing on facts). Second, ensure your mind is clear by putting smart devices and the like on mute (by laser focusing on the speaker); thirdly, lastly, take notes (I use my muted phone as many people know me, but it's no harm using a physical notebook alternatively). And lastly, look into the eyes of the speakers while speaking, as this gives more assurance to the person that you are giving undivided listening attention. Trust me, this method continues to help me listen effectively, so it can for you.
In summary, in communication, what is sent and/or shared by the speaker is not necessarily what is received and/or understood by the listener. Effective listening here plays a critical role in narrowing the necessary gap to ensure clarity of the message is achieved from and by both parties. Methods shared today in my article are ways I personally continue to use in meetings, and I confidently assure this will help improve your effective listening skills too. Yes, practice makes perfect. Until we catch up again next week, continue winning and stay positive.
Generally, when someone is talking, many people don’t really pay attention (unless you are a student, in an academic institution or setting, and is among the excellent ones). We don’t realize it, but we get distracted with everything else around, e.g., the crowd, the music in the background, the plans and/or thoughts wandering on our mind, where we are going, what we are going to say, etc. Sometimes, we would even go the extra mile and cut off (or stop) the speaker before they even completed what they were wishing to say. Unfortunately, we think we are good listeners, yet the reality is, we are not even close.
With the advent of smart devices (i.e., phones, watches, and tomorrow glasses as well), the challenge and problem have become ever more (or worse, actually). These devices keep breaking and asking for your attention, from instant messaging to various application notifications and/or even calls (be they productive or not). Social media companies (Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Snapchat, etc.) make billions offering you free apps, tools, and services just to grab your attention (in order to make those billions they are making out of you as a product). One article I read recently reported that smartphone users unlock their devices average 80 times per day. The number may even be higher with those addicted too. Can one now deny that the majority’s listening skills are (and are getting) poor as a result? I believe proof (as a fact) is in the pudding.
When people talk, you normally don’t listen to them. You are in fact just hearing them. Hearing is sound waves that are transmitted over the air and to your ears; it is passive. Imagine walking in a mall and hearing people talk and music in the background. You are hearing and not listening to them. See the difference? Effective listening involves understanding the message within the sound or voice.
So how can one therefore listen effectively? I will tell you what I personally do. First, ensure you keep an open mind by avoiding to assume what they are saying (yet focusing on facts). Second, ensure your mind is clear by putting smart devices and the like on mute (by laser focusing on the speaker); thirdly, lastly, take notes (I use my muted phone as many people know me, but it's no harm using a physical notebook alternatively). And lastly, look into the eyes of the speakers while speaking, as this gives more assurance to the person that you are giving undivided listening attention. Trust me, this method continues to help me listen effectively, so it can for you.
In summary, in communication, what is sent and/or shared by the speaker is not necessarily what is received and/or understood by the listener. Effective listening here plays a critical role in narrowing the necessary gap to ensure clarity of the message is achieved from and by both parties. Methods shared today in my article are ways I personally continue to use in meetings, and I confidently assure this will help improve your effective listening skills too. Yes, practice makes perfect. Until we catch up again next week, continue winning and stay positive.