‘I am sorry’

Nizar al Musalmy -

nizar.nmh.musalmy@gmail.com -

I have heard, on many occasions, many people saying the words “I am sorry”. But sometimes I don’t understand when people say they are sorry. I mean…. I don’t get the meaning of it. What do they mean when they say they are sorry?

Take as an example an experience I had one afternoon at the parking lot of one of the malls in this city. I came out with my shopping items but could not get through. I saw a new model of the Lexus outfit, parked improperly sideways, blocking my car in the process.

In the meantime, the mother of junior was calling and asking where I was. She had an appointment with her doctor scheduled in 20 minutes time. Of course I knew of the appointment, but I had reckoned I had enough time to rush and pick up something and be able to drive back home in time to drop her for the appointment. I did not know I would come across this metallic green beauty car.

Eventually, one lady strolled up and got into the car, and then proceeded to make a call on her cell phone, oblivious and not realizing all the havoc she had caused. I slowly and politely got closer and knocked on her car window, and gestured that I want to drive away. The lady driver eventually noticed my presence and rolled down her window.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

Of which I responded, “Yes, lady, you parked wrongly and blocked me from leaving.”

That is when she did a double take, looked around, and went on saying “Oh, I’m sorry,” and drove off. To her, as long as she apologized, it is all cool and life goes on.

On another day, it so happened that we had a long trip to take with my cousins. The driver was supposed to show up at 12:00 noon, go have lunch, so that the trip can begin at 13:00 hrs and by 16:00 hrs we would reach our destination and make a business deal with our counterparts.

But the driver showed up after 13:00 hrs, which meant the whole schedule was thrown into chaos. We all should have been out there by 16:00 hrs, so the tension was high and everybody was pissed off except the driver.

He was all calm like nothing had happened. One of the cousins kept on telling him how he had messed up big time, but the driver just kept saying “… but I said I’m sorry.”

Sorry! What did they really mean? That she was sorry because we missed the doctor’s appointment? She was sorry for me knocking on her car window? She was sorry I am not driving a new Lexus? That he was sorry all the plans we had made were now in ruins? He was sorry we did not close the business deal? He was sorry everybody was pissed off? Perhaps some people really think that once they have said “sorry”, everything is alright, forgiven and forgotten, and life can go on.

According to how I understand it, the first rule of saying ‘I am sorry’ is to rectify the mistake, and ensure that you never repeat it. You need to get to the root of the problem, amend it, and ensure that there will be no more future incidents of the same type. So this means that the word ‘sorry’ actually loses its magic when used too often, especially for the same mistake. Being sorry means that you have to correct whatever it is that went wrong by not repeating it. Have a nice weekend!